The end

I nursed Caroline for the last time tonight. And I'm sad. I have thoroughly enjoyed nursing her, and I'm proud that I have made it to over a year. There is a lot of satisfaction in knowing that I gave her the best that I could for the entire first year of her life. She has never had formula and that's something that I feel really good about. When Caroline was born, and I decided to nurse, what I didn't know is that nursing is so much more than just a way to feed your baby.

My approach to weaning was a gradual one-- slowly cutting down from three to one sessions over the past month. We have been down to one session, bedtime only, for a week now. And so I decided a week was enough time to not make the transition too abrupt.

We went about our normal evening routine-- dinner, bath, pajamas and nurse-- before bed. As Caroline finished nursing, we were sitting in the glider with the light dimmed. She turned her head and looked up at me with the sweetest, angelic expression. I stroked her cheek, and she smiled at me with her little four-tooth grin.... and then the tears started rolling down my face. What a precious gift it has been to have this relationship with Caroline for a year. To see it come to an end is bittersweet. I'm ready to be done, but I know I will miss it terribly for a little while.